2009-04-25

Swine svithe



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In regards to last night's post on Thutopia (and keep in mind I'm writing this, like, five minutes after finishing that one), I want to tell you all I love you and since (as a young healthy male myself) I may not be long for this world, I thought I should write a sunscreen post.

First: That guy's totally right --- living in Northern California will make you soft. Look at me. I'm dead.

Second: Don't spend so much time worrying about one natural disaster that you fail to notice the one that actually will end up killing you.

Third: Smile. You could be where I am.

Fourth: To be more specific, enjoy the marvelousness of this great gift we call mortal life. For all the harping about this being a Fallen World, it's pretty damn great. Pretty voices on the radio, pretty clouds in the sky, pretty lettuce in the taco, pretty mote in your eye. It's a pretty great world. Be grateful.

Fifth: Pray. You may be next.




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last week's svithe


2009-04-19

Temptation and Sin: The Parable of the SweeTarts
(a svithe)



SweeTarts from Wikipedia.

Last Monday I took in our car and while waiting, I walked down to Grocery Outlet and did some shopping. One delightful thing I discovered was little bags filled with a mix of Chewy Mini SweeTarts, Chewy Sprees and Shock Tarts. Brilliant!

When I was in high school, I used to buy rolls of SweeTarts, Sprees and Shock Tarts and mix them up in an old yogurt container I hid under my clean socks and underwear. When Chewy Sprees came out, I added them to the mix. Then, whenever I needed a sugar fix, I opened my drawer and surreptitiously removed a piece of candy.

Delicious.

Fastforward, oh, fifteen years, to last January and our shotgun trip to Tehachapi. I was driving and I was getting sleepy so, using a trick taught by a friend during a much-too-early-in-the-morning university class, I bought a box of Red Hots and snacked on them to keep me awake.

Now in April that box is still in the door of the car, although it was down to maybe four Red Hots left. So I filled the box with the mix of Chewy Mini SweeTarts, Chewy Sprees and Shock Tarts I had just purchased, thinking they would also last four months and serve to keep me awake during long drives.

No.

I have already almost finished them. I cannot stop eating them. I eat them nonstop as I drive. My tongue is raw.

They are too delicious.

And they are right at my fingertips.

Oh.....they are so good......



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2009-04-12

Easte Svithe 2009



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Segullah keeps stealing my ideas. But in honor of the season, I will not get irate.

Instead:
    We've decided to do eggs and bunnies on Saturday (to keep them away from Sunday) and so this morning I slipped into the boys' room while Lady Steed was "in the can" to keep them in their room until it was time.

    The Big O asked why.

    So I made up this, that it was representative of Jesus and the Resurrection and because of him we all will. But we have to wait for his say-so.

    You're welcome to use that if you find yourself in an Eastery pinch.

    Every opportunity, parents, is a teaching opportunity.

    Although I'll give you 5:1 he doesn't remember that anymore after the excitement of the egg hunt and 6000ccs of sugar. Alas.





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last week's svithe

2009-04-05

Svithetacular 179



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DISCLAIMER: SVITHETACULAR'S ARE NOT A SUITABLE REPACEMENT FOR WATCHING/READING CONFERENCE ON YOUR OWN. SVITHETACULARS SHOULD BE VIEWED AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO COMPARE NOTES AND SUCHLIKE RATHER THAN SOME SORT OF LO-CAL SUBSTITUTE FOR THOUGHTFUL CONSUMPTION. JUST SAYING. I MEAN---YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A WAY OF KNOWING WHAT WAS ACTUALLY SAID, WHAT I MERELY THOUGHT I HEARD, AND WHAT ARE ORIGINAL THOUGHTS OF MY OWN.

***SATURDAY MORNING***

With my brother in town, we rigged his laptop up in the livin room to watch conference. Then we had no sound. So we used Lady Steed's instead. Which means I'm typing on mine. Which means certain letters may not appear (or may overappear). Readability may be affected.

Elder Robert Hales
    Debt. I'm pretty sure they told us so.

    The three most loving words: I love you.
    The four most caring words: We can't afford it.

    We can learn more from spousal communications how be become provident.

    Tithes are the foundation of provident living.
    Fast offerings (FO) ---
    Family councils re: resources.

    Delayed gratification.

    Whence cometh eternal joy?

    Feast upon that which perisheth not.

    The appetite to possess worldly things can only be overcome with


Sister Unknown
    (time spent fixing the letter J --- hopefully there will be no more strings of 20 to erase.....)

    my examples of respect, as a parent

    respect for others and love of God are close together

    I'm reverent for reverence is love.
    And so is the teaching thereof.

    “to make good internet choices”

    Reverence Invites Revelation

    titles as route to respect and reverence

    turn off your stupid cellphone

    working on reverence on a ward level


Elder Somebody
    Wait. What? I thought he was talking to the young women. And now it's the young men. I don't think I was listening closely enough....

    His wife is a student of successful marriage principles. Lucky guy.

    Sometimes she gives him books saying he only needs to read the underlined parts.

    Monson: The teaching of fundamentals is urgent.

    “use inspired questions”
    (examples in talk for us to look up later)

    quorum combining should be temporary

    (All three talks, so far, seem very developed-nations-with-large-Mormon-populations-specific)

    do homework to understand our duty


Elder AF Packard
    Holy Crap! They already called the new apostle? I thought that happened during the afternoon! Who's Elder Anderson? Geez!

    Sorry. I had to go set up a tent. Missed this talk entirely.

    But we did look up Elder Anderson on LDS Newsroom. Another businessman, from Idaho My brother knows him and says, also, “He's kind of a dork.”


Elder D Todd Christofferson
    Smiling through Destruction

    spiritual optimism

    covenants

    exaltation

    new and everlasting covenant is John 3:16

    making covenants---how does it help us smile through hardships?

    knowing we are aligned with God gives us strength

    Paul's find of strength through weakness

    bestowal of divine power --- the ultimate in strength-through-covenants

    gifts of the spirit

    The Holy Ghost that testifies meaningfully when I testify inasmuch as I can

    Jesus + You

    through our covenants we can become a powerful instrument for good


President Henry B Eyring
    we all must deal with adversity

    feelings of 'unfairness'

    goodtimes can seem good and natural; so their passing can feel unjust

    distress can shake faith
    doubt can infect a generation
    then grow and spread
    and turn them against God
    to no faith in a god at all

    Heavenly Father and the Savior live and love all humanity

    he took upon him all that he might now how to succor his people according to their infirmities

    obedience when it is hard to do

    the Lord always suits the relief to those in need to purify them
    the inspiration to one of these may to do something enormously difficult

    widows and widowers

    even while in need we can bless those in greater need
    and never assume you are the one with the greater need
    because that is purely a matter of perspective
    so, what, are you a whiner?

    the atonement makes possible our being purified



***SATURDAY AFTERNOON***

Pr Uchtdorf takes over for Pr Monson on conducting duties

Sustainings

Accidental speaker announcement

Auditory stuff

Quesadillas

Statistics * 2818 stakes * 348 mission * 622 districts * wards/branches 28109 * mem 13508509 converts 265593 * missionaries 52494 * new temples 4 * temples 128 * Daniel Ludlow died last year

Elder MR Ballard
    You're going to text your Conference talk? I thought you had to give that in the Conference Center?

    Prediction: this is the Edsel story

    Yes! I'm so smart!

    The lesson? When willing to listen and learn, some of lifes most important lessons come from our elders (lowercase e).

    interns shadow seasoned veterans
    rookies in professional sports sit on the bench
    new missionaries work with a senior companion

    "triggering things out"

    the fact that things come from old men past and present does not make them less valuable

    those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it etc etc etc (dooooom)

    you don't have to be LDS or even religious to see the patterns of history recorded in the Old Testament (plug: Fob Bible will soon be available) or the Book of Mormon

    the collapse of morality bringing disaster upon the people

    even in the relatively short time covered in the New Testament we see the pattern again and call it the Great Apostacy (plus a shoutout to midevielists)

    these things happen not when God turns his back on us, but when we his children turn our backs on Him

    our Restoration is like the totally greatest restoration ever --- we have science too --- science is awesome --- but public decency, whoo, the ways of God are taking a beating in the marketplace of ideas and Right and Wrong are concepts unpopular

    standing up for unpopular ideas is unpopular

    See the historical pattern?

    the voice of the Lord is clear and unmistakable

    agency: choice is ours:
    ignore the past and suffer?
    or, how much better, to follow the faithful examples of the followers of Christ

    That was confusing. He said "You don't have to be a Laman or a Lemeul." but I thought he was saying "You don't have to be a layman..." which I found odd as we do, in fact, have lay clergy and expect people to serve when asked. So, you know. Seemed weird. But he didn't actually say that, so there you go.

    how to take your spirituality to the next level
    no new technology for that
    suckers!
    the process is the same: obedience, prayer, service, scriptures.....
    which is why the lessons of the past are still important: they lead us to peace and happiness in the future


Elder QL Cook
    This mortal life can constitute a dangerous journey but the destination is truly dangerous.

    Stumbling blocks to faith
    The house of faith is big enough for everyone

    Dickens on ship with a bunch of Mormons, expecting scum. But they weren't! What the heck! They are, in their degree, the pick and flower of England!

    MSM hates, those looking close love. How it is to be a Mormon.

    We are seen favorably when we live the teachings of Jesus Christ.

    Reports often untrue unfair and harsh (not just to Mormons, but Christianity generally)

    what about the honorable open to faith but confused by bad doctrines?

    blackswans

    reconciling the doctrines of a loving god and the damnation of most of hunanity

    "'sometimes the found fault with me for wanting a more liberal salvation'" ---phineas

    Tennyson: nothing walks with endless feet, not one life shall be destroyed, when God shall make the pile complete

    How much better the Plan of Salvation actually is!

    This is my work and my glory to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.

    notwithstanding the significance of our doctrinal differences, we refrain from criticizing other religions

    interview with Nigerian member --- his first favorable impression was that no one preached that members of other faiths were going to hell

    our goal is not just salvation for ourselves but for others as well

    the sublime destination --- not afraid of the arduous journey

    Come Come Ye Saints: and should we die before our journey's through, happy day, all is well


Elder Missedit
    more than merely recognizing faith as a gospel principle

    true faith is in Jesus Christ

    I totally recognize this guy's voice....

    do your children know that you know

    the greater the obedience, the greater the endowment of faith

    "the spiritual equivalent of a chemical reaction"

    personal righteousness is a choice

    a quality of faith as we focus, seen and felt in a valiant missionary etc

    the six destructive Ds - doubt (of fear) (inconsistent with divine identity) - discouragement - despair - distraction (a bad habit) - d - disappointment - a lack of scipline - discobedience - disbelief (to be past feeling) - (is this 6?)

    challenging times require greater spiritual power

    testimony

    hope smiling brightly before us


Elder Hasanaccent
    (regularity of familial distractions on the rise)

    not how you die but how you live

    the lord hath given and the lord hath taken away blessed be the name of the lord

    which suffering caused me even god the greatest of all....

    the pavilion of thy hiding place....

    HWH: our faith centered on C? Then nothing can go permanently wrong.

    rains came down, floods came up
    ...upon BOTH houses

    faith prepares us to face adversity more confidently


Elder RG Scott
    because I love you I will speak heart-to-heart and without mincing words

    When a temple is close by, small things can then get in the way. Don't let them. You would not if you lived a week away.

    participate in all the different ordinances available

    What is more important? What can provide greater impact or joy? What better way to get some more happiness as a couple?

    Be worthy or prepare to be worthy of participation.

    A sealing ordinance is not eternal until sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise. Both must want it and be worthy.

    also: think about those poor dead folk

    What a oy it is to be able to participate in the work of the Temple!

    many were the blessings we received in the house of the lord permitting us comfort and oy in our afflictions
    without it would have been like walking into the jaws of death

    his wife died 14 years ago
    not to ask why, but to ask what can be learnt

    two dead babies
    born in the covenant

    when we keep the temple covenants we have made, then come what may we have to reason to feel despondant

    What a blessing.

    this is the work of the Lord
    Jesus Christ lives
    This is my witness.


Elder RM Nelson
    A heart surgeon to follow a heart-surgery story.

    the Lord's Prayer as model

    daily bread - food, religion (the Bread of Life)

    Amen = truly, verily

    (alphabetizing fruit)

    we should pray for the companionship of the Holy Ghost, thus it becomes a vital force for good in our lives

    such a thing as overdoing - fasting and praying till you die is no sign of wisdom

    the Lord will accept that which is enough

    (family debate: what is 'enough', how much variance within the spectrum of 'enough'?)



***PRIESTHOOD***

Ph2009 01

Ph2009 02

Ph2009 03

Ph2009 04

Ph2009 05

Ph2009 06

Ph2009 07


***SUNDAY MORNING***

President DF Uchtdorf
    Today: Palm Sunday: Entrance of Jesus to Jerusalem as per prophecy

    mistaking the messiah

    The Good News

    hunger for meaning and purpose in life

    numerous new answers available in this world for the burning questions of our souls

    This is endemic. Really. I'm reminded of the common need to be newly in love, constant seeking leads to further divorce. And a failure to find real ansewrs to life's important Qs. Same disease, two different and horrible symptoms.

    recognition of imperfections in our lives
    desires to be cleansed of the depressin burdens of sin

    Baptism: convenant to take on the name of Jesus Christ and walk in his paths

    Holy Ghost

    these things take time, folks

    contant daily application of principles

    not like the farmer who plants corn in the morning and expects a crop in the afternoon

    Alma's seed

    setting foot upon the path of discipleship
    blessing immediately BEGIN to come

    knowing the seed is good is not enough --- we must then nourish it

    walking the path of discipleship indicates to OURSELVES that we're serious about this Jesus stuff

    discipleship is not a spectatorsport

    ours is not a secondhand religion - we need it firsthand

    don't even have to be well mannered to take that first step! (phew)

    Have Fath
    Seek and Ye Shall Find
    Knock and the door shall be opened

    be an active participant in ward/branch

    be on in marriage/family

    have a temple recommend and use it

    speak in earnest prayer

    be grateful for the Restoration

    embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ

    mistakes do not keep us from the Lord unless we choose to use them as an excuse
    we have ALL fallen short of the glory of God

    Oh, it is wonderful to know that our Father in Heaven loves us, even with all our flaws ... he refines us for the eternities(JBWIRLTHLIN)

    wherever you are now, come now to the restored gospel of Jesus Christ

    it is never too late

    to those who feel inadequate or that they cannot make up the time they've lost, bollocks --- we need YOU and YOUR skills NOW

    a living prophet authorized by the Lord Jesus Christ

    Jesus lives
    redeemed of the world
    the promised Messiah
    he will fight our battles
    he is our hope, our salvatin, the way


Elder Neil L Anderson
    The traditional opening for a new apostle.

    absolute certainty through the gift of the Holy Ghost: Jesus is the Christ

    testimony of the prophet

    here he asks for my brother's forgiveness and forbearance

    had to clarify that --- I thought he said "the Lord will shave the back" --- ends up he said "The Lord will shape the back to bear the burden"

    quote Emily Dickinson and the Lord will not let you forget that you are nobody

    He married an angel!!!
    Trying to become what she already thought he was
    (ends up angels are good marks for a con)

    kids and grandkids

    (I wonder if there's a template for these first-apostle-talk talks)

    implication: he didn't look at the FP or the 12 as examples before becoming a 70 (lesson: precision in speech is important)

    too sacred to recount

    the mantle or Wirthlin

    the keeping covenants in these days of destiny will be a badge of honor throughout eternity

    far more pioneers alive today than ever before (this is very true and worthy of note)

    our Father loves all his children
    we are not alone in sacrificing for a greater cause
    but we must not shrink from what is uniquely ours in the restored gospel of Chirst


Elder Steven (Stephen?) E Snow
    how to prepare for change:

    follow the prophets

    (missed two, sorry)

    be of good cheer

    (sorry---Elder Anderson got me to thinking and I was writing a secondary post I'm tentatively planning to publish tomorrow)

    pioneer story, 1847 (one of those pioneers)

    the annoyance of mission calls

    I looked and spit and took off my hat and scratched my dead and said Alright


Sister Barbara Thompson
    The Time Is Far Spent (love that song)

    His arm is sufficient

    re:(satan)(warning)

    strengthen our families and homes

    the look of our families varies greatly

    Hold to the rod!

    pray for the bishop

    praying in faith

    we will all be poor in some way and need the help of another -- are we not all beggars?

    vital that we serve each other

    huge tree! HUGE!!!!!

    sheez....I don't have a chainsaw....

    must be fixed in our purpose to grow and improve and increase

    screw satan


Elder JR Holland
    Easter Season Message
    for everyone but especially for those alone, who feel alone, or feel abandoned
    viz all of us at various times in our lives

    the Savior's solitary task

    abandoned by the crowds
    condemned improperly
    punished unrighteously

    exchanged for Barrabas, an ungodly 'son of the father'

    but what about Judas?
    wrenching to think that one of his special witnesses who sat at his feet and watched him heal could betray him for thirty pieces of silver

    his friends asleep

    Peter denying

    the women stayed close, but, essentially, he took this journey alone

    the most difficult, final moment of divine withdrawal
    was he intellectually and physically prepared, but not quite emotionally?

    He DID please His Father PERFECTLY

    probably he was never closer to his son than in the final moments, but, to complete the task, he did briefly withdraw
    that this perfect Son who had never done wrong could now how the rest of us feel when we commit such sins that the Atonement could be fulfilled when he knew what it was like to die spiritually as well as physically --- to be totally, obectively alone

    but Jesus pressed on

    against all odds and with none to help or uphold him
    conquered death
    brought joyous redemtion from sin
    through faith in the Father to whom he commited his spirit

    we must not reenact this acts of betrayal
    we must not leave him alone again

    let's declare ourselves to be better disciples, even when the path is lonely, whether times are good or bad

    at this Easter week let us stand with Jesus Christ in all times and all places, even unto death, even as he did


President Monson
    bad times, financially, morally; wars and disasters

    easy to be cynical or fearful
    IF! we focus on the bad

    today instead let's focus on our members of the Church

    not the Spirit of fear but of Power and Love and a Sound Mind

    "examples of numerous individuals"
    just three, today

    Condies travel some Scotland on a crummy boat
    in the world you shall have tribulation but fear not: I am not of the world

    Polynesia
    light became dark
    depressed, dispondant
    then the gospel came
    I am the light of the world; he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness but have the light of life

    ETBENSON in POSTWWII Europe
    the end of an idyllic life in eastern Prussia
    1000mile+ walk to a new, forced home
    begun in late summer without food or money, only a testimony in the restored gospel and her four children
    temperatures dropped below freezing
    baby in her arms, oldest pulls wagone, feet wrapped in burlap
    snows arrive
    three-year-old daughter dies
    buried with a tablespoon in the frozen ground
    seven-year-old son dies
    her only shovel the tablespoon
    five-year-old son buried
    baby dies in her arm
    spoon gone
    digs in the frozen earth with her bare hands
    the temptation, in heartbreak, of suicide
    then, "Get down on your knees and pray"
    she ignores till she can't anymore
    she kneels and prays with previously unknown fervency
    nothing left but my faith in thee
    because your Son broke the chains of death, we will be together
    so although I do not wish to live, I will, that we may
    and thus she came to know that God lives
    and that she would be reunited with all she had lost

    the gospel will sustain us as we keep the commandments
    there will be nothing in the world that can defeat us

    Fear not
    Be of good cheer

    Heaven's blessings await us



***SUNDAY AFTERNOON***

Elder Dallin H Oaks
    the savior gave himself in selfless service and asks the same of us

    and so we do, to a large degree

    but this is not easy, to prioritize others over ourselves

    forget yourself

    not how many positions did you hold but how many people did you help?
    ----judgement day

    caring for families

    the mormon ability to unite in cooperative efforts

    What in the world could the explanation be???

    beware of prioritizing the opinions of the world

    sacrifice is out of fashion

    (I'm on ball-retrieval duty for the Large S which is minimizing my notetaking---it's a suckerball and his throwing it onto the window where it gets stuck)

    beware of entitlement

    selfishness/greed the source of our current financial difficulties

    whatsoever a man soweth, that also shall he reap

    wholehearted free service to the poorest of the poor
    we cannot do great things, only small things with great love
    ---mother theresa

    selfcenteredness retards spiritual growth

    going to church in order to think of others, not for myself (not to recharge me, but to recharge others)

    we are more filled by what we give, not what we get


Elder Bednar
    serving in the temple expands one's vision

    moving the temple to the center of our lives

    shepherding to the house of the lord

    (putting S down for a nap)

    from baptism to the temple, where the sheaves are gathered

    (back from S and eating a donut, not on the carpet, where this laptop is)
    (but he's been saying good things, drawing a line from baptism to the temple where we more fully take on the Lord's name)
    (definitely one to read again)

    protection available through temple covenants
    difference between temple checkboxers and dedicated temple worshippers

    raging from the adversary, from without and within

    blessings for time and eternity

    let the covenant you made with the lord burn in your heart like a flame unquenchable

    we do now and will yet face great challenges to the work of the Lord

    today temples dot the earth as places of sacred convenants and refuge

    the fire of the convenant will burn in all our hearts


Elder Stevenson
    Look, Grandpa. You are never lost when you can see the temple.

    only the home can compare with the temple in sacredness

    we can make our homes A house of the Lord

    a virtual tour of our home, using our spiritual eyes
    imagine walking in --- what do you see, what do you feel?
    personal gospel study space
    room for home improvement

    the building of spiritual mountains

    understanding of temple/family will draw you to family/temple


Elder Jose? Something?
    God's given us gifts necessary to help us navigate our lives to eternal goals

    (offtopic: I just realized that, with the exception of dedications, we never get to hear the prophet pray)

    what inspires us to do good comes from God

    GPS as extended metaphor --- brilliant, I can't believe I've never heard this before


Elder SomethingbutIwasstillworkingonthelastone
    search these commandments for they are true and faithful

    whether by mine own voice or one of my servants it is the same

    you may not like what the leadership says, but imagine it comes from the mouth of the Lord himself that He will disperse the darkness

    the authority of prophets


Elder L Tom Perry
    hey! I've driven along University Avenue near the mouth of Provo Canyon!

    lost sheep (literally)

    where is the shepherd? (was there a shepherd?)

    there is no substitute for a member-oriented missinoary program

    member missionaries are the shepherds

    stats on where we at

    memorized D&C4 . . . it's still in me somewhere. with prompting I can get through it

    told thrice to open our mouths

    ewe+alma=?

    seeking after the lost sheep


President Thomas S Monson
    good things are good

    bad things are bad

    choose you this day whom you will serve....

    temples - go often - we'll keep building 'em

    there we will find peace and increased resolve

    (it occurs to me that if we were as generous without expectation of recompense to the living as we are to the dead, things would be much different)

    prophetic blessing

    amen





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