Swine svithe

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In regards to last night's post on Thutopia (and keep in mind I'm writing this, like, five minutes after finishing that one), I want to tell you all I love you and since (as a young healthy male myself) I may not be long for this world, I thought I should write a sunscreen post.

First: That guy's totally right --- living in Northern California will make you soft. Look at me. I'm dead.

Second: Don't spend so much time worrying about one natural disaster that you fail to notice the one that actually will end up killing you.

Third: Smile. You could be where I am.

Fourth: To be more specific, enjoy the marvelousness of this great gift we call mortal life. For all the harping about this being a Fallen World, it's pretty damn great. Pretty voices on the radio, pretty clouds in the sky, pretty lettuce in the taco, pretty mote in your eye. It's a pretty great world. Be grateful.

Fifth: Pray. You may be next.

this svithe on thutopia
last week's svithe

Temptation and Sin: The Parable of the SweeTarts
(a svithe)

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Last Monday I took in our car and while waiting, I walked down to Grocery Outlet and did some shopping. One delightful thing I discovered was little bags filled with a mix of Chewy Mini SweeTarts, Chewy Sprees and Shock Tarts. Brilliant!

When I was in high school, I used to buy rolls of SweeTarts, Sprees and Shock Tarts and mix them up in an old yogurt container I hid under my clean socks and underwear. When Chewy Sprees came out, I added them to the mix. Then, whenever I needed a sugar fix, I opened my drawer and surreptitiously removed a piece of candy.

Delicious.

Fastforward, oh, fifteen years, to last January and our shotgun trip to Tehachapi. I was driving and I was getting sleepy so, using a trick taught by a friend during a much-too-early-in-the-morning university class, I bought a box of Red Hots and snacked on them to keep me awake.

Now in April that box is still in the door of the car, although it was down to maybe four Red Hots left. So I filled the box with the mix of Chewy Mini SweeTarts, Chewy Sprees and Shock Tarts I had just purchased, thinking they would also last four months and serve to keep me awake during long drives.

No.

I have already almost finished them. I cannot stop eating them. I eat them nonstop as I drive. My tongue is raw.

They are too delicious.

And they are right at my fingertips.

Oh.....they are so good......

this svithe at thutopia
last week's svithe

Easte Svithe 2009

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Segullah keeps stealing my ideas. But in honor of the season, I will not get irate.

Instead:

We've decided to do eggs and bunnies on Saturday (to keep them away from Sunday) and so this morning I slipped into the boys' room while Lady Steed was "in the can" to keep them in their room until it was time.

The Big O asked why.

So I made up this, that it was representative of Jesus and the Resurrection and because of him we all will. But we have to wait for his say-so.

You're welcome to use that if you find yourself in an Eastery pinch.

Every opportunity, parents, is a teaching opportunity.

Although I'll give you 5:1 he doesn't remember that anymore after the excitement of the egg hunt and 6000ccs of sugar. Alas.

this svithe on thmusings
last week's svithe

Svithetacular ¹⁷⁹

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DISCLAIMER: SVITHETACULAR'S ARE NOT A SUITABLE REPACEMENT FOR WATCHING/READING CONFERENCE ON YOUR OWN. SVITHETACULARS SHOULD BE VIEWED AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO COMPARE NOTES AND SUCHLIKE RATHER THAN SOME SORT OF LO-CAL SUBSTITUTE FOR THOUGHTFUL CONSUMPTION. JUST SAYING. I MEAN---YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A WAY OF KNOWING WHAT WAS ACTUALLY SAID, WHAT I MERELY THOUGHT I HEARD, AND WHAT ARE ORIGINAL THOUGHTS OF MY OWN.

***SATURDAY MORNING***

With my brother in town, we rigged his laptop up in the livin room to watch conference. Then we had no sound. So we used Lady Steed's instead. Which means I'm typing on mine. Which means certain letters may not appear (or may overappear). Readability may be affected.

Elder Robert Hales

Debt. I'm pretty sure they told us so.

The three most loving words: I love you.
The four most caring words: We can't afford it.

We can learn more from spousal communications how be become provident.

Tithes are the foundation of provident living.
Fast offerings (FO) ---
Family councils re: resources.

Delayed gratification.

Whence cometh eternal joy?

Feast upon that which perisheth not.

The appetite to possess worldly things can only be overcome with

Sister Unknown

(time spent fixing the letter J --- hopefully there will be no more strings of 20 to erase.....)

my examples of respect, as a parent

respect for others and love of God are close together

I'm reverent for reverence is love.
And so is the teaching thereof.

“to make good internet choices”

Reverence Invites Revelation

titles as route to respect and reverence

turn off your stupid cellphone

working on reverence on a ward level

Elder Somebody

Wait. What? I thought he was talking to the young women. And now it's the young men. I don't think I was listening closely enough....

His wife is a student of successful marriage principles. Lucky guy.

Sometimes she gives him books saying he only needs to read the underlined parts.

Monson: The teaching of fundamentals is urgent.

“use inspired questions”
(examples in talk for us to look up later)

quorum combining should be temporary

(All three talks, so far, seem very developed-nations-with-large-Mormon-populations-specific)

do homework to understand our duty

Elder AF Packard

Holy Crap! They already called the new apostle? I thought that happened during the afternoon! Who's Elder Anderson? Geez!

Sorry. I had to go set up a tent. Missed this talk entirely.

But we did look up Elder Anderson on LDS Newsroom. Another businessman, from Idaho My brother knows him and says, also, “He's kind of a dork.”

Elder D Todd Christofferson

Smiling through Destruction

spiritual optimism

covenants

exaltation

new and everlasting covenant is John 3:16

making covenants---how does it help us smile through hardships?

knowing we are aligned with God gives us strength

Paul's find of strength through weakness

bestowal of divine power --- the ultimate in strength-through-covenants

gifts of the spirit

The Holy Ghost that testifies meaningfully when I testify inasmuch as I can

Jesus + You

through our covenants we can become a powerful instrument for good

President Henry B Eyring

we all must deal with adversity

feelings of 'unfairness'

goodtimes can seem good and natural; so their passing can feel unjust

distress can shake faith
doubt can infect a generation
then grow and spread
and turn them against God
to no faith in a god at all

Heavenly Father and the Savior live and love all humanity

he took upon him all that he might now how to succor his people according to their infirmities

obedience when it is hard to do

the Lord always suits the relief to those in need to purify them
the inspiration to one of these may to do something enormously difficult

widows and widowers

even while in need we can bless those in greater need
and never assume you are the one with the greater need
because that is purely a matter of perspective
so, what, are you a whiner?

the atonement makes possible our being purified

***SATURDAY AFTERNOON***

Pr Uchtdorf takes over for Pr Monson on conducting duties

Sustainings

Accidental speaker announcement

Auditory stuff

Quesadillas

Statistics * 2818 stakes * 348 mission * 622 districts * wards/branches 28109 * mem 13508509 converts 265593 * missionaries 52494 * new temples 4 * temples 128 * Daniel Ludlow died last year

Elder MR Ballard

You're going to text your Conference talk? I thought you had to give that in the Conference Center?

Prediction: this is the Edsel story

Yes! I'm so smart!

The lesson? When willing to listen and learn, some of lifes most important lessons come from our elders (lowercase e).

interns shadow seasoned veterans
rookies in professional sports sit on the bench
new missionaries work with a senior companion

"triggering things out"

the fact that things come from old men past and present does not make them less valuable

those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it etc etc etc (dooooom)

you don't have to be LDS or even religious to see the patterns of history recorded in the Old Testament (plug: Fob Bible will soon be available) or the Book of Mormon

the collapse of morality bringing disaster upon the people

even in the relatively short time covered in the New Testament we see the pattern again and call it the Great Apostacy (plus a shoutout to midevielists)

these things happen not when God turns his back on us, but when we his children turn our backs on Him

our Restoration is like the totally greatest restoration ever --- we have science too --- science is awesome --- but public decency, whoo, the ways of God are taking a beating in the marketplace of ideas and Right and Wrong are concepts unpopular

standing up for unpopular ideas is unpopular

See the historical pattern?

the voice of the Lord is clear and unmistakable

agency: choice is ours:
ignore the past and suffer?
or, how much better, to follow the faithful examples of the followers of Christ

That was confusing. He said "You don't have to be a Laman or a Lemeul." but I thought he was saying "You don't have to be a layman..." which I found odd as we do, in fact, have lay clergy and expect people to serve when asked. So, you know. Seemed weird. But he didn't actually say that, so there you go.

how to take your spirituality to the next level
no new technology for that
suckers!
the process is the same: obedience, prayer, service, scriptures.....
which is why the lessons of the past are still important: they lead us to peace and happiness in the future

Elder QL Cook

This mortal life can constitute a dangerous journey but the destination is truly dangerous.

Stumbling blocks to faith
The house of faith is big enough for everyone

Dickens on ship with a bunch of Mormons, expecting scum. But they weren't! What the heck! They are, in their degree, the pick and flower of England!

MSM hates, those looking close love. How it is to be a Mormon.

We are seen favorably when we live the teachings of Jesus Christ.

Reports often untrue unfair and harsh (not just to Mormons, but Christianity generally)

what about the honorable open to faith but confused by bad doctrines?

blackswans

reconciling the doctrines of a loving god and the damnation of most of hunanity

"'sometimes the found fault with me for wanting a more liberal salvation'" ---phineas

Tennyson: nothing walks with endless feet, not one life shall be destroyed, when God shall make the pile complete

How much better the Plan of Salvation actually is!

This is my work and my glory to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.

notwithstanding the significance of our doctrinal differences, we refrain from criticizing other religions

interview with Nigerian member --- his first favorable impression was that no one preached that members of other faiths were going to hell

our goal is not just salvation for ourselves but for others as well

the sublime destination --- not afraid of the arduous journey

Come Come Ye Saints: and should we die before our journey's through, happy day, all is well

Elder Missedit

more than merely recognizing faith as a gospel principle

true faith is in Jesus Christ

I totally recognize this guy's voice....

do your children know that you know

the greater the obedience, the greater the endowment of faith

"the spiritual equivalent of a chemical reaction"

personal righteousness is a choice

a quality of faith as we focus, seen and felt in a valiant missionary etc

the six destructive Ds - doubt (of fear) (inconsistent with divine identity) - discouragement - despair - distraction (a bad habit) - d - disappointment - a lack of scipline - discobedience - disbelief (to be past feeling) - (is this 6?)

challenging times require greater spiritual power

testimony

hope smiling brightly before us

Elder Hasanaccent

(regularity of familial distractions on the rise)

not how you die but how you live

the lord hath given and the lord hath taken away blessed be the name of the lord

which suffering caused me even god the greatest of all....

the pavilion of thy hiding place....

HWH: our faith centered on C? Then nothing can go permanently wrong.

rains came down, floods came up
...upon BOTH houses

faith prepares us to face adversity more confidently

Elder RG Scott

because I love you I will speak heart-to-heart and without mincing words

When a temple is close by, small things can then get in the way. Don't let them. You would not if you lived a week away.

participate in all the different ordinances available

What is more important? What can provide greater impact or joy? What better way to get some more happiness as a couple?

Be worthy or prepare to be worthy of participation.

A sealing ordinance is not eternal until sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise. Both must want it and be worthy.

also: think about those poor dead folk

What a oy it is to be able to participate in the work of the Temple!

many were the blessings we received in the house of the lord permitting us comfort and oy in our afflictions
without it would have been like walking into the jaws of death

his wife died 14 years ago
not to ask why, but to ask what can be learnt

two dead babies
born in the covenant

when we keep the temple covenants we have made, then come what may we have to reason to feel despondant

What a blessing.

this is the work of the Lord
Jesus Christ lives
This is my witness.

Elder RM Nelson

A heart surgeon to follow a heart-surgery story.

the Lord's Prayer as model

daily bread - food, religion (the Bread of Life)

Amen = truly, verily

(alphabetizing fruit)

we should pray for the companionship of the Holy Ghost, thus it becomes a vital force for good in our lives

such a thing as overdoing - fasting and praying till you die is no sign of wisdom

the Lord will accept that which is enough

(family debate: what is 'enough', how much variance within the spectrum of 'enough'?)

***PRIESTHOOD***
















***SUNDAY MORNING***

President DF Uchtdorf

Today: Palm Sunday: Entrance of Jesus to Jerusalem as per prophecy

mistaking the messiah

The Good News

hunger for meaning and purpose in life

numerous new answers available in this world for the burning questions of our souls

This is endemic. Really. I'm reminded of the common need to be newly in love, constant seeking leads to further divorce. And a failure to find real ansewrs to life's important Qs. Same disease, two different and horrible symptoms.

recognition of imperfections in our lives
desires to be cleansed of the depressin burdens of sin

Baptism: convenant to take on the name of Jesus Christ and walk in his paths

Holy Ghost

these things take time, folks

contant daily application of principles

not like the farmer who plants corn in the morning and expects a crop in the afternoon

Alma's seed

setting foot upon the path of discipleship
blessing immediately BEGIN to come

knowing the seed is good is not enough --- we must then nourish it

walking the path of discipleship indicates to OURSELVES that we're serious about this Jesus stuff

discipleship is not a spectatorsport

ours is not a secondhand religion - we need it firsthand

don't even have to be well mannered to take that first step! (phew)

Have Fath
Seek and Ye Shall Find
Knock and the door shall be opened

be an active participant in ward/branch

be on in marriage/family

have a temple recommend and use it

speak in earnest prayer

be grateful for the Restoration

embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ

mistakes do not keep us from the Lord unless we choose to use them as an excuse
we have ALL fallen short of the glory of God

Oh, it is wonderful to know that our Father in Heaven loves us, even with all our flaws ... he refines us for the eternities(JBWIRLTHLIN)

wherever you are now, come now to the restored gospel of Jesus Christ

it is never too late

to those who feel inadequate or that they cannot make up the time they've lost, bollocks --- we need YOU and YOUR skills NOW

a living prophet authorized by the Lord Jesus Christ

Jesus lives
redeemed of the world
the promised Messiah
he will fight our battles
he is our hope, our salvatin, the way

Elder Neil L Anderson

The traditional opening for a new apostle.

absolute certainty through the gift of the Holy Ghost: Jesus is the Christ

testimony of the prophet

here he asks for my brother's forgiveness and forbearance

had to clarify that --- I thought he said "the Lord will shave the back" --- ends up he said "The Lord will shape the back to bear the burden"

quote Emily Dickinson and the Lord will not let you forget that you are nobody

He married an angel!!!
Trying to become what she already thought he was
(ends up angels are good marks for a con)

kids and grandkids

(I wonder if there's a template for these first-apostle-talk talks)

implication: he didn't look at the FP or the 12 as examples before becoming a 70 (lesson: precision in speech is important)

too sacred to recount

the mantle or Wirthlin

the keeping covenants in these days of destiny will be a badge of honor throughout eternity

far more pioneers alive today than ever before (this is very true and worthy of note)

our Father loves all his children
we are not alone in sacrificing for a greater cause
but we must not shrink from what is uniquely ours in the restored gospel of Chirst

Elder Steven (Stephen?) E Snow

how to prepare for change:

follow the prophets

(missed two, sorry)

be of good cheer

(sorry---Elder Anderson got me to thinking and I was writing a secondary post I'm tentatively planning to publish tomorrow)

pioneer story, 1847 (one of those pioneers)

the annoyance of mission calls

I looked and spit and took off my hat and scratched my dead and said Alright

Sister Barbara Thompson

The Time Is Far Spent (love that song)

His arm is sufficient

re:(satan)(warning)

strengthen our families and homes

the look of our families varies greatly

Hold to the rod!

pray for the bishop

praying in faith

we will all be poor in some way and need the help of another -- are we not all beggars?

vital that we serve each other

huge tree! HUGE!!!!!

sheez....I don't have a chainsaw....

must be fixed in our purpose to grow and improve and increase

screw satan

Elder JR Holland

Easter Season Message
for everyone but especially for those alone, who feel alone, or feel abandoned
viz all of us at various times in our lives

the Savior's solitary task

abandoned by the crowds
condemned improperly
punished unrighteously

exchanged for Barrabas, an ungodly 'son of the father'

but what about Judas?
wrenching to think that one of his special witnesses who sat at his feet and watched him heal could betray him for thirty pieces of silver

his friends asleep

Peter denying

the women stayed close, but, essentially, he took this journey alone

the most difficult, final moment of divine withdrawal
was he intellectually and physically prepared, but not quite emotionally?

He DID please His Father PERFECTLY

probably he was never closer to his son than in the final moments, but, to complete the task, he did briefly withdraw
that this perfect Son who had never done wrong could now how the rest of us feel when we commit such sins that the Atonement could be fulfilled when he knew what it was like to die spiritually as well as physically --- to be totally, obectively alone

but Jesus pressed on

against all odds and with none to help or uphold him
conquered death
brought joyous redemtion from sin
through faith in the Father to whom he commited his spirit

we must not reenact this acts of betrayal
we must not leave him alone again

let's declare ourselves to be better disciples, even when the path is lonely, whether times are good or bad

at this Easter week let us stand with Jesus Christ in all times and all places, even unto death, even as he did

President Monson

bad times, financially, morally; wars and disasters

easy to be cynical or fearful
IF! we focus on the bad

today instead let's focus on our members of the Church

not the Spirit of fear but of Power and Love and a Sound Mind

"examples of numerous individuals"
just three, today

Condies travel some Scotland on a crummy boat
in the world you shall have tribulation but fear not: I am not of the world

Polynesia
light became dark
depressed, dispondant
then the gospel came
I am the light of the world; he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness but have the light of life

ETBENSON in POSTWWII Europe
the end of an idyllic life in eastern Prussia
1000mile+ walk to a new, forced home
begun in late summer without food or money, only a testimony in the restored gospel and her four children
temperatures dropped below freezing
baby in her arms, oldest pulls wagone, feet wrapped in burlap
snows arrive
three-year-old daughter dies
buried with a tablespoon in the frozen ground
seven-year-old son dies
her only shovel the tablespoon
five-year-old son buried
baby dies in her arm
spoon gone
digs in the frozen earth with her bare hands
the temptation, in heartbreak, of suicide
then, "Get down on your knees and pray"
she ignores till she can't anymore
she kneels and prays with previously unknown fervency
nothing left but my faith in thee
because your Son broke the chains of death, we will be together
so although I do not wish to live, I will, that we may
and thus she came to know that God lives
and that she would be reunited with all she had lost

the gospel will sustain us as we keep the commandments
there will be nothing in the world that can defeat us

Fear not
Be of good cheer

Heaven's blessings await us

***SUNDAY AFTERNOON***

Elder Dallin H Oaks

the savior gave himself in selfless service and asks the same of us

and so we do, to a large degree

but this is not easy, to prioritize others over ourselves

forget yourself

not how many positions did you hold but how many people did you help?
----judgement day

caring for families

the mormon ability to unite in cooperative efforts

What in the world could the explanation be???

beware of prioritizing the opinions of the world

sacrifice is out of fashion

(I'm on ball-retrieval duty for the Large S which is minimizing my notetaking---it's a suckerball and his throwing it onto the window where it gets stuck)

beware of entitlement

selfishness/greed the source of our current financial difficulties

whatsoever a man soweth, that also shall he reap

wholehearted free service to the poorest of the poor
we cannot do great things, only small things with great love
---mother theresa

selfcenteredness retards spiritual growth

going to church in order to think of others, not for myself (not to recharge me, but to recharge others)

we are more filled by what we give, not what we get

Elder Bednar

serving in the temple expands one's vision

moving the temple to the center of our lives

shepherding to the house of the lord

(putting S down for a nap)

from baptism to the temple, where the sheaves are gathered

(back from S and eating a donut, not on the carpet, where this laptop is)
(but he's been saying good things, drawing a line from baptism to the temple where we more fully take on the Lord's name)
(definitely one to read again)

protection available through temple covenants
difference between temple checkboxers and dedicated temple worshippers

raging from the adversary, from without and within

blessings for time and eternity

let the covenant you made with the lord burn in your heart like a flame unquenchable

we do now and will yet face great challenges to the work of the Lord

today temples dot the earth as places of sacred convenants and refuge

the fire of the convenant will burn in all our hearts

Elder Stevenson

Look, Grandpa. You are never lost when you can see the temple.

only the home can compare with the temple in sacredness

we can make our homes A house of the Lord

a virtual tour of our home, using our spiritual eyes
imagine walking in --- what do you see, what do you feel?
personal gospel study space
room for home improvement

the building of spiritual mountains

understanding of temple/family will draw you to family/temple

Elder Jose? Something?

God's given us gifts necessary to help us navigate our lives to eternal goals

(offtopic: I just realized that, with the exception of dedications, we never get to hear the prophet pray)

what inspires us to do good comes from God

GPS as extended metaphor --- brilliant, I can't believe I've never heard this before

Elder SomethingbutIwasstillworkingonthelastone

search these commandments for they are true and faithful

whether by mine own voice or one of my servants it is the same

you may not like what the leadership says, but imagine it comes from the mouth of the Lord himself that He will disperse the darkness

the authority of prophets

Elder L Tom Perry

hey! I've driven along University Avenue near the mouth of Provo Canyon!

lost sheep (literally)

where is the shepherd? (was there a shepherd?)

there is no substitute for a member-oriented missinoary program

member missionaries are the shepherds

stats on where we at

memorized D&C4 . . . it's still in me somewhere. with prompting I can get through it

told thrice to open our mouths

ewe+alma=?

seeking after the lost sheep

President Thomas S Monson

good things are good

bad things are bad

choose you this day whom you will serve....

temples - go often - we'll keep building 'em

there we will find peace and increased resolve

(it occurs to me that if we were as generous without expectation of recompense to the living as we are to the dead, things would be much different)

prophetic blessing

amen

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